
By: Randy Wooden
Ever have someone keep talking to you long after you’d heard enough? They keep talking and all you want to do is end the conversation or that particular line of discussion. Have YOU ever been the one doing all the talking and not realized you were boring the other person to tears?
Here is the first in a series of tips you can use to help determine how a listener is receiving what you’re saying.
First, it’s important to understand how a typical conversation occurs. Once we feel we understand what someone is saying our mind leaps to what we want to say next. Sometimes we don’t even listen before our mind leaps to our agenda. In either event, what occurs is a person jumping in with their own thoughts. In effect, we cut each other off. And this goes on without either person taking offense. It’s simply how we communicate.
During an interview those ground rules are a bit fuzzier. Instead of the employer cutting off your comment, he is likely to allow you to complete your thought. And you, perhaps somewhat nervous and eager to impart all you can in order to impress, are too often more than willing to state your point. And restate it. And restate it. And restate it.
I tell my clients to avoid becoming an Edith Bunker. For children of the 70’s or those who’ve watched All in the Family in syndication, Edith’s character was known for, among other things, her droning on and on about inane topics.
So here’s point number one in this three-part series on gauging whether you might be talking too long.
Pay attention to the other person’s body language, specifically their head. Typically, most people will nod their head as you establish eye contact while speaking. Watch for person to nod their head as you’re speaking. It conveys the person is not only paying attention, but typically signifies that they understand and agree with what you’re saying. Nodding one’s head doesn’t mean a person is ready to move on to a different topic. Take the nodding as a reassuring sign that what you’re saying is being received and processed in an active manner.
Next time I’ll discuss how to read people when they’re telling you to “speed this thing up because I’m about done with it.”
Learn more about us at www.woodengroup.com. You can also connect with Randy on LinkedIn.
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